Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early Spring, but his prediction was wrong and Butler County Prosecutor Mike Gmoser wants the groundhog indicted for it.
Gmoser issued a fake single-count indictment of the groundhog charging him with “misrepresentation of spring” for making people believe the season would arrive early. The indictment suggests the death penalty be implemented against the groundhog.
Gmoser filed a fake indictment against Phil on Thursday which reads: (See Bottom of Story for the whole Document)
On or about February 02,2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.
SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil.
Bill Deeley, president of the club that organizes Groundhog Day, said Phil has a lawyer and would fight attempted extradition by the Ohio authorities. He also said the death penalty would be a “very harsh” punishment for the much-loved rodent.
“We’ll have to plead our case one way or the other, but I think we can beat the rap,” Mr Deeley said.
One of Punxsutawney Phil’s handlers, John Griffiths says that “beyond a shadow of a doubt the groundhog will be acquitted when all the evidence is considered. There are several defenses, including the fact that, since Feb. 2, there have been springlike temperature spikes.”
“When he betrays us like this, something has to be done,” Gmoser told the Washington Post in a phone interview. “His defense will be he didn’t know his rear end from a hole in the ground,” he added, saying he expects the groundhog to appeal the indictment.
“Since he’s already serving a life sentence behind bars, as you know. There wasn’t much left as far as a penalty other than a death sentence,” added Gmoser.
Gmoser admitted he was engaging in a bit of humor, “This is a story that has legs. I hope everyone understands it’s tongue-in-cheek.”
Punxsutawney Phil has been making his predictions since 1887 and will likely continue.
Global Post made a nice suggestion, “His handlers may want to add a disclaimer to Phil’s website ‘Not responsible for wrong predictions.'”
Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Indicted In Ohio Accused Of Lying About Early Spring
Dearest readers: Punxsutawney Phil is in trouble. As many of you (especially up here in the Northeast) may have noticed, spring is officially upon us but the weather ain’t exactly warm despite Phil forecasting an early spring. One Ohio county prosecutor is holding the groundhog accountable… via an indictment… seeking the death penalty. Michael Gmoser phoned in to CNN’s Starting Point on Friday to explain the move in a pun-filled interview.
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